Part 66
Still on "Glossary of Terms
and Phrases(commonly used by the predatory female)"
I DON'T GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND
WITH STRANGE MEN.
Another example of the virginity complex. In
reality she's been porked by every trucker
from Abilene to Barstow.
I'M LOOKING FOR A STABLE,
MATURE, KIND, RESPONSIBLE MAN
WHO IS FINANCIALLY SECURE,
CONSIDERATE OF MY NEEDS, GIVES
ME MY OWN SPACE, AND SHARES MY
INTERESTS.
Another self-centered predatory female,
totally lacking in originality, who gets her
lines from the "personal" ads in the local
singles rag. This is a girl who demands her
support payments on time and will expect you
to be cheerful about it.
COME ON IN, I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE.
I am purposely late so you can get accustomed
to waiting for me like a chauffeur.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU
ARE. YOU HAVE REALLY GOT IT
MADE.
How have you managed to elude marital bliss
for so long? (sometimes used as a throwaway
line to make you feel superior, over confident,
and possibly increase your vulnerability)
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, I'M JUST
GLAD IT WAS GOOD FOR YOU.
Thank God it's over. Now maybe I can talk
him into dinner at Chasen's.
SORRY, I WAITED ALL DAY FOR YOU
TO CALL AND NOW I HAVE OTHER
PLANS.
Ridiculous. She is simply sour grapes at
having failed to transform you into a nematode
who begs for sexual crumbs.
YOU DON'T INTERFERE WITH MY
SPACE. I'M REALLY GLAD YOU KNOW
WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU
WANT. YOU'RE IN A REAL GOOD
PLACE RIGHT NOW.
She's a graduate of one of the several selfawareness
scams going around the country.
This type of mental midget is capable of drawing
in a three hundred dollar per month billing
from a door-to-door soap company.
I WISH I HAD MET YOU YEARS AGO.
An old standard automatically issued to each
new boyfriend. As a matter of fact, you did
meet when you were working your way
through college as a shoe clerk, but she
wouldn't give you the time of day.
I WANT TO REALIZE MY FULL
POTENTIAL BEFORE I SETTLE DOWN.
I want to try bagging a real fat bank account
before I settle for yours.
I WANT TO FIND MY IDENTITY, TO BE
ME, TO DISCOVER MYSELF.
I'm tired of being a housewife and a mother
and I want to make it with some college guys.
I DON'T WANT OUR RELATIONSHIP TO
BECOME STAGNANT.
The blow job to dining out ratio is below
standards, the campaign to move in with you
is losing momentum, or she just met a sixty
five year old multi-millionaire who's good for
at least a car and a condo.
YOU HATE WOMEN, DON'T YOU.
You just finished telling her the reason God
created women was because sheep don't do
windows.
OUR RELATIONSHIP ISN'T GOING
ANYWHERE.
Choose from the following: (1) She just made
the mistake of introducing you to her mother.
(2) Her younger sister received a diamond
engagement ring for Christmas and you gave
her a tennis racket. (3) She's angry because
you forgot to lock the bedroom door and
your roommate came in to borrow a tie during
coitus. (4) You got drunk at her brother's bar
mitzvah and announced that she looked
exceptionally well for a girl who just had an
abortion.
