Very interesting thread here! I'm in my twenties and have never 'known' a woman in my life. I was extremely desperate before, doing the typically stupid things nice guys did.
After working through the issues with what I believe to be rational thinking, I've moved on and decided to forego women altogether. Every now and then I do some introspection and ask myself: "am I bitter/frustrated/annoyed by this?". The good thing (or maybe sad thing) is that I am not bothered in the slightest now. I've somehow flicked the switch and don't care to waste anymore of my time with women. I don't even fantasize about getting a nice girl from the 3rd world anymore, and I've seen how nice they can be.
But I've never had it so good. I have growing savings, I'm doing really interesting work with my studies, I'm in top shape, and I'm a part of a close-knit family. Can't really think of anything more I would want.
Exaltations. This would be the top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs (hxxp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs), self-actualization. You might reach self-transcedence...welcome to tomorrow.
Even though sex is not a requirement (although it is included) to be met at the bottom level of Maslow's hierarchy to advance to upper levels, it seems a great amount of time is spent on obtaining sex as if it was a requirement to be met for absolute survival (such as breathing, water, food, that are also included in the bottom level of Maslow's hierarchy) as we have seen with the proliferation of "game", "players", etc. in American culture and pursued with scientific rigor (Alphas, Betas, Omegas, oh my!).
Of course, this can only be attributed to prostitution being illegal in most of the 50 states. With all this pre-occupation with meeting a perceived need (sex, in this case) instead of a real need, the energy wasted on the perceived need could be better shifted toward advancing in upper levels of Maslow's hierarchy, and this would be the logical argument against "game" and "players" although I'm not personality against "game" or "players" as it just seems an unnecessary function in comparison to the rest of the world when you can easily hire a prostitute, meet normal women that like sex (and lots of it) to have as a girlfriend or such, and avoid energy loss that could be used for better motivations in life...maybe I've been baking too much out here in the Grecian sun.
I would think every member on here is at some level of Maslow's hierarchy, with self-actualization the goal, and self-transcendence for those that wish to pursue it.
I think porn is worse than prostitution because it warps healthy thinking about sex and relationships. At least with an escort, a man can naturally release urges and get them out of the body. Porn gets a man twisted in thinking without the natural release.
Another issue with porn is that for guys who are used to masturbating and looking at pictures, they get used to the feel of their own hand, to the point where when they finally put it in a woman's vagina (or mouth), it doesn't feel the same and therefore have a hard time staying hard or orgasming.
imo releasing from porn is just too far removed to sex (even with an SP) to address the need, at least that is my personal view on it, backed by personal experience. The only way you'll know is if you try both to decide.
Revolution man writes
I wouldn't hold seeing and SP against anyone.
Your a grown man, you make your own way in the world, you do for yourself, so you make your own choices, and IF there are ever consequences to suffer, you'll be the one to suffer them, and being that your an intelligent fellow, I'm sure you've already given due consideration to the possible ramifications of your choice to have your needs met by a professional.
As far as I'm concerned theres nothing morally wrong with what your doing.
Whores gotta eat too.
Capitalism provides for everyone if law gets out the way.
America has the worst women overall on the planet which is why most American men are better off using escorts.
Marcus Aurelius writes
Symphony, I liked this post a lot. You are hitting the nail head on when you say that a man spends so much of his time in the pursuit of sense gratification, of sexual appetites. As you are also someone who has studied Buddhism, you and I both know that suffering stems from our attachments to impermanence. And so it is with lust. It can be gratified for a time, and this creates attachment to it, also creating false senses of security; that the state you are in will not change...one is happy...as the needs of his senses are being met...but this is never the case. Everything is in a constant state of flux. I echo your statement that one should spend more of their time focusing on self realization and God realization, for, these are the only two permanent things in the world of changes.
Imagine that you are a boat in the water, endlessly tossed around by the tides...going wherever they carry you. To this pleasure, or this lack of pleasure. To this happy state of being, to this unhappy state of being. From security to abandonment. So is the world of change. But imagine then, that the boat, miraculously washes to the shore.
You pick yourself up, and then stand high on the harbor, watching with detachment, as the waves of sensory pleasure roar to and fro, this way and that. This is self realization. God realization. It begins with detachment, disassociation...THIS I AM NOT. I applaud anyone who begins this path.