Thursday, April 8, 2010

Friends First Scam

Thread at Happy Bachelors Forum

I posted this in 2007

Taken from page 190 from the Professional Bachelor


I’m friends with this sexy girl who just moved into my neighborhood, and am trying to work an angle to date her and get intimate. So far, she’s lowered her barriers, and thinks I’m really nice and a good listener. I take her out to dinner, we go shopping together, and occasionally I send flowers to her at work. We talk forever on the phone. She says she wants to take it slow for now, start out as FRIENDS FIRST. So far we just hold hands, and hug…she kisses me goodbye on the cheek. After two months, I tried to accelerate things by taking her on vacation, but she insisted on me paying her own separate room. Every time I try to advance things, she says she’s not ready. How can I tell her that I’m like ready to take things a little farther? I mean I don’t want to hurt her feelings, and ruin our relationship.


What size clit are you packing? Geez this is painful to read. When you act like a limp-wristed, purse-swinging, bed-wetting girlfriend, do you expect to turn her on? Men do not let women walk all over them. Men control the situation, not the other away around. Men do not spend money on women until they’re pumping them like Gladiators. If you’ve gone out on three dates, and her ankles don’t end up in the air by the end of the evening, she’s history. Tell her you don’t need anymore Goddamn friends, you need Sex. Ask her if she has any horny girlfriends who actually have a sex drive and aren’t game players. If you’re not getting any from her after two months, it’s because she’s either attracted to stronger women than you, or she’s not a lesbian. Bet you she blew some dude right before she kissed you good night on the cheek.

Friends first means no sex. Ever. It’s slow motion humiliation. You wanna pay for that crap? This approach never works for the guy. It’s a female ploy designed to frustrate you, ride your wallet, and laugh at you behind your back. A total waste of time. If you need a friend, get a dog. Men and women are never really friends anyway, they have different interests. Do you call up a girl and discuss some new strip club, Porn star, a touchdown catch or a hot stock tip? Hell no. Think about it. How many women can you honestly say are great friends, who haven’t nailed or aren’t angling to get in her panties? A couple at best, and they’re usually fat or off-limits. Friends first means she is not sexually attracted. Get over it. By the way, aren’t those new pearlized Playtex applicators to die for? Snug, yet so refreshingly airy.