Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Few, The Proud, The MGTOW

Thread at Happy Bachelors

spocksdisciple writes

I think the category of single men needs to be divided into those who have never married and those who were married but are no longer(I include those who were common law/cohabitation).
My hypothesis is that the number of never married men as a proportion of the population is probably growing but slowly. Those who are divorced/separated are a rapidly increasing percentage.
MGTOW statistics are guesswork at best but if I were go to by the membership number.

I think this movement isn't growing nearly as fast as the number of single men.
And as I stated in that thread I think MGTOW is not a lifestyle/philosophy which is suited to many men nor even comprehensible by them.

Now MGTOW as part of the MRA movement hasn't really been discussed or even quantified and I think there are important differences between two that men don't really think about. Same with Ghosting/MGTOW though the two are related.

For me MGTOW=living the life of a Bachelor proudly, without shame or guilt and not bothering to hide the fact. It's similar to cultural pride, there is nothing to apologize for and will openly espouse the advantages of being a bachelor. Most of the regular posters here including myself fall into this category.

Ghosting=Living the Bachelor life in as quiet and unassuming fashion as possible, this doesn't imply your aren't proud to be a bachelor but that you don't make an issue of it or even acknowledge it to anyone. You simply live and it doesn't matter if anyone knows or not. Semi regular posters here fall into that category although the true Ghost never posts and doesn't show up on anyone's radar.

MRA=Not necessary bachelor's nor even divorced, they support the movement for an equitable balance in the laws and attitudes towards men in general. The Father's rights movement is a subcategory of this although there are notable differences between the two since FRA(Father's Rights Advocates) are not necessarily anti-marriage.

I've thought long and hard about what it means to be an MGTOW(or properly MGHOW(man going his own way) and if by default that makes me a MRA supporter.
I've noted that a lot of men on other boards are initially introduced to MRA and confuse it with MGTOW, the fact is from my viewpoint being MGTOW means letting go of the anger and hatred. Yes I may be wrong about this but to me Going Your Own Way means leaving the emotional baggage behind where women are concerned and moving on with your life.
I've perused quite a few boards(some of which really go way overboard on the hatred of women) and have seen that there is an evolutionary chain in progress.
The end result of which is MGTOW then being a Ghost.
So to me The Few, The Proud are those men who have come to terms with their personal issues where women are concerned and have evolved beyond them into something greater.

BTW, this makes MGTOW/Ghosts a lot more resilient then their female counterparts. I have yet to meet a single woman who is truly comfortable with themselves and being themselves, independent of what society or their friends think of them. That's what makes MGTOWs unique, most women can't get past the victim mentality and so they call themselves feminists/women's rights activists, but in reality they are stunted in their personal growth by their hatred, envy, anger. In other words by their emotions, therein is the key for men. We can and are able to master our emotions and not allow them to chain or manipulate us, most men don't choose to do so, which is why most men will never be true MGTOW/Ghosts.

Letting go of the anger/hatred towards women will free those men to be truly themselves and in turn not need women to define who they are.

Acomdata writes

I'll reference your first and last paragraphs

There is two categories the 'never married' and the 'been there done that' guys. I'm in the latter... twice. In your last paragraph you talked about letting go of the anger. The anger probably applies, mostly, to the last group (which I am in).

To say I was angry when I realized how badly I had been taken to the bank during the entire marriage, not just the divorce, would be an understatement. I wasn't angry, I was pissed off for having allowed myself to be used by yet another soulless self-centered twit.

Your post is right though. A lot of things happen to our bodies when we are angry starting with the inability to make a decision based on sound judgment and reasoning, which is how some of us end up married again.

Like you I think MGTOW means letting go of the anger and simply moving on with your life. For me I'm pretty indifferent towards women now. I've dated some but the first time one of them trips my trigger I simply walk away and don't look back. This seems to leave them confused for days on end.

One huge benefit to being a part of MGTOW without the anger is eliminating the "he's just mad" argument. Of course we will still have to put up with the "afraid of commitment" comments.

When someone asks me if I've "found someone" my usual response is along the lines of I'm enjoying my life to much right now. It's amazing how many married guys, the outwardly "happy" ones will own up to wishing they were single.

For me MGTOW means I'm not mad or angry and don't hate women, not even the X. I've just made the decision that I don't particularly want to be a part of the current system of male-female relationships and all the baggage that goes with it.

To put it plainly, I've just chosen to not put up with their s#it, which seems to leave them utterly confused.

Spocksdisciple writes

In reading back on this post I made a long time ago I realize more then ever that letting go of the anger and resentment towards women is an essential first step towards total psychological freedom.
With all the insane decisions and other events occurring in the US these days it's imperative to free yourself of the psychological hold the feminazis have been trying to instill in us from day one.