Friday, April 9, 2010
Women Can Only Control Men Who Allow Themselves to
Thread at Happy Bachelors Forum
I must start with first saying, "Stand up and be a man!" Women can only control a man who allows himself to be controlled. Love does not mean giving up your friends or only talking to the friends she chooses for you to talk to.
It also doesn't mean she gets to make all of the decisions in your life. If you are a man being controlled and you can't see that, you most likely need some serious help.
Women who control their men are in a much larger power struggle within themselves than they are with the men they control. The man is not the issue and what he does right or wrong, assuming he does anything right, is also not the issue. She has problems that need to be dealt with and controlling her man certainly doesn't need to be a part of it. Again, as the man being controlled, you are allowing it. Stop already!
If you are a man in this type of relationship and you think for one moment you're going to change her, you're sadly mistaken. She is the only one that can change her. That is one decision she most certainly must make for herself. You will not find some magic potion to suddenly make her share the decision making with you. The problem is much, much deeper.
Typically, controlling women break down a man's confidence in himself little by little until the man begins to believe he is nothing without her. Controlling women are manipulative and intimidating. They are often so good at this; they make the man feel he is the one responsible for making her angry or upset. She may often accuse him of be uncaring or insensitive to her feelings. Often, the man begins to feel it was indeed all his fault. Many men with low self-esteem will continue to allow this to happen. Often, he will change his behavior to "keep the peace" or simply to escape the circumstance causing the current episode. Along with this, his self-esteem plummets even further.
Controlling relationships tend to come in phases. Did she take your breath away? Did she sweep you off of your feet? Many times, this is how it all begins.
Then she finds small ways to be manipulative and break down self-confidence. She can turn every conversation into something he has done, such as being uncaring or hurting her feelings.
Suddenly, he finds himself completely in love with this control freak and wants to believe the woman that swept him off of his feet will return. Sadly enough, without some serious intervention, that most likely will never happen.
In all relationships, there are leaders and there are followers. For the most part, that's quite healthy. However, when the woman spends most of her energy trying to control her man, she needs to look deep within herself and find out where this issue comes from. These women must learn to understand that you can't gain control of your own life by controlling others. You can only gain control on your own life by controlling yourself.
Until the controlling woman faces this fact and deals with it, she will not change. She will continue to prey upon those men with low enough self-esteem to suck them into her controlling way of life and she will continue to feed on these men for as long as they will allow it.