Superbad's Marriage All for the Nookie Part 1

Marriage: all for the NOOKIE

when i hear males say "i want to marry and start a family". the needle on my BULLSHIT meter gets pegged and then snaps off. what they really mean is "i have determined this is my best option to gain access to a VAGINA". why can't males bring themselves to admit this? it is so OBVIOUS when males take on the agenda of some vagina's life support unit. "when i see Sarah, i want to marry and raise children with her". HUH? WTF? WAS THERE A FREAK ACCIDENT AND YOUR BALLS GOT KNOCKED OFF? dude, when i see Sarah i want to whip out that baseball bat between my legs, wack her upside the head with it, and then nail her little p***y until Family Guy comes on". please stop lying! i also know males who spew that tired old line "i want to carry on the family name". REALLY? where was that concern for your family name when you were thrown out of college for masturbating on the school mascot? face it, your family is a confirmed bunch of jerkoffs. let the name die with you, Urkel. why are males so disingenuous. would any male sign a contract saying they'd take care of a perfectly capable human being... who happens to have a DICK. no f-ing way. why? because there is no vagina, vagina, VAGINA! stop the fake chivalry... religious posturing... traditional values mumbling... stop lying, you bastards! i dedicate this song to all those males who "want to marry"...