Sunday, April 11, 2010

Cost of Marriage

Thread at Happy Bachelors Forum

Christopher in Oregon started this thread and writes this


I think I've mentioned a friend of mine in the past. His name is Tom. We've known each other since we were small children, but parted company when he got married the first time. His wife was a slut of the first order. She cheated on him, even hit on me, and the marriage ended after about ten years. Lost his house. One kid who has been brainwashed by the mother to hate him. Never talks to him.

Married again, second wife cheated on him with a sixteen-year-old, and again, the marriage ended and he lost another house. Two kids; reasonable relationship with both of them although the mother has tried to destroy that.

Ten years ago, he married a CPA he met when he was visiting relatives in Austria. He brought her here, certain that this devout Catholic from the old country would be more traditional. Nope. She cheated on him, and they divorced. Lost another house that he's renting back from the people he sold it to.

He now has three renters occupying the spare bedrooms in order to help pay the rent on what was once his own house.

This formerly robust fellow, who was always athletic, at only 49, is falling apart. The stress has given him severe ulcer problems. He can't eat. He is losing weight like I've never seen before. The stress of his ex-wives, and the problems with his children, are slowly wasting him away. One of his son's is about to marry a tramp, and it's killing my friend.

I warned him each time he got married to not do it. The first time we were nineteen, and each subsequent time I tried to reason with him. He quietly ignored me, and now he is paying the price.

This man's life is effectively ruined. His health is is deteriorating rapidly. Stress is killing him.

All because of women and his inability to see them for what they are and say "NO" to himself.

Such an insane price to pay, and what a vantage point to sit by and watch over a period of thirty years a friend being ruined by women.

Christopher in Oregon

Mr Reality writes
Very sad.

Let me tell you what happened. This man was most men are in the United States. He wanted a partner, and since men don't socialize with one another like women do, he had to turn to a woman. Each time the woman, who does not see the man as a partner anyway, dominated him and then returned to "the sisterhood" with tales of her conquest.

Meanwhile, all men get is a "don't get married man" but nothing else to fill that void. Men are LONELY. Without a woman or something WORTHWHILE (something above this rotten society and its institutions) to devote themselves to they end up willfully becoming slaves. Any purpose is better than NO purpose to these men. This is why young men join gangs and such. They are rebelling against the establishment and at the same time seeking acceptance and purpose.

To find my purpose I find it necessary to be alone. Go somewhere you can be alone, sit near a lake, or in a beautiful park, and (this will sound very YOGA-like) FEEL the energy of the area untainted by Ameriskank and mangina negative vibrations. I used to go to a local arboretum and watch the deer and the birds. They are so natural and without malice. Unlike the skanks and simps we live around that call themselves women and men.

Your friend is a broken man because he has not freed his mind. He must find other men that are like us. In large enough numbers that he can feel as if he is in good company. Until then I would not doubt that in a few more years he may marry again.

Christopher in Oregon writes

We are much alike, me thinks. I've never had any problem occupying myself with my reading, listening to classical music, painting and riding my motorcycles. I just don't get lonely as most men do, and frankly, I've never thought the cure to loneliness was to share space with a nagging bag of cellulite. No thanks; not that desperate.

Yes, Tom said again just the other day that he couldn't stand to be alone. I suspect he is condemned to relive the past over and over again. He and I briefly get together after each marriage has failed, but once he latches onto another women, he disappears. So, while I do feel sorry when I see any human being suffering, I also realize that he's doing it to himself. He has DONE it to himself. Could he be any other way? Is he hard-wired to be nothing but a mindless drone for the matriarchy? A pussy-seeking breeder? Quite probably. I gave up trying to reason with his some time ago. He is what he is.

When we were teenagers, we had a ball. Inseparable we were. It was great. But, his first wife brought that to a screeching halt, in no uncertain terms. I suspect she was not only angered by my being single, but by the fact that I didn't take her up on her offer to cheat on Tom shortly after they married.

You are quite correct. Men are lonely. They don't network the way women do, and are easily picked off by matrimonially-minded women. I, on the other hand, have never cared much one way or the other. I've found a Zen-like peace for many years when I hop on my motorcycle and head off into the forest or desert. Very serene, and no woman to destroy my tranquility.

Christopher in Oregon

Zon writes

It takes a unique man to be comfortable within himself. This is an extremely rare gift!

We need to understand that more than 95% of the men out there will NEVER get it. Regardless of the facts & figures that are presented to them. They are drawn to their own demise like a piece of steel to a magnet.

I too know a couple of guys like this…It is very frustrating to watch.

It is difficult to leave the MATRIX…You cannot just walk out the door, so to speak. It is an evolution; an ongoing process. A few of us got started a couple decades or more ago and are able to see things very clearly and identify what is going on under the surface.

Christopher’s friend Tom is a classic example of how NOT to operate your one and only life. A “Smart” man will learn from his mistake(s)…An “Intelligent” man will prefer to learn from other peoples mistake(s). We all have choices and must live with the outcome of our choices.

Life in and of itself is difficult enough as it is, why on earth would I want to introduce more difficulty and complications? I am not a loner but I truly love being by myself. I enjoy walking along the lake, going for a drive in the convertible, and reading. Introspection and Observation are the keys to my inner peace. There is nothing that I love better than to be out and about people watching and observing. It is quite educational.

I love this line by Christopher: “I've never thought the cure to loneliness was to share space with a nagging bag of cellulite. No thanks; not that desperate.”

The thought of spending my life with some aging harridan who is constantly testing me, vying for control, using me as a slave, depleting my assets and future earnings. The whole mess completely turns me off to coupling up.

In my observations of couples, what I’ve noticed is that usually the man looks extremely lost and lonely even though he has this Big-Burley-Beastie-Monstrosity of a loud mouthed bitch beside him. How could that be? I thought being with a woman was to alleviate loneliness. Why is it that women always have that infamous scowl plastered on their face? Aren’t they happy with their effeminate man?

Turning off the Indoctrination Box (TV) would be a great start for getting in touch with oneself. Why compare yourself to all the shining happy people on TV? Why fulfill the Non-Reality that the elite are trying to indoctrinate people with? As we can see after 40 years of society following its Feminist/Marxist indoctrination, we now have a lonelier, more violent, unhappy, drugged, economically distraught, dumbed down, etc. society where women are men and men are women.

I think I will continue going my own way in bliss, serenity, happiness and thought. I will never understand how someone can be under the belief that another person or substance can fill a void within oneself…I have NEVER heard of this being fulfilled successfully. Yet, the masses of asses will continue trying to attain the impossible.

Imagine the aura of desperation and loneliness that this guy Tom has while he goes about searching for his next miracle cure in a woman. I’m certain that Christopher has a difficult time being around him. This Tom is literally only a shell of his former self as he pays these parasites: his emotions-time-houses-cars-furniture-child support-vaginamoney-freedom-etc… What did he get out of the deal?

Marcus Aurelius writes

I am sorry to hear about this guy. Man that sucks. To a lesser extent and with less consequences other than emotional primarily, I have made the same mistakes even knowing better. I was a mysogonist for years, but for some dumb odd reason I kept getting back on that run down treadmill. My faith, my stoic philosophy towards life, is what keeps me going. I'm a Buddhist Christian if that makes sense. Very much a loner too; I was fortunate, in that sense, being an only child, I was used to being on my own, and even craving solitary space.

But I'm not gonna lie. I'm new at this. I was living with a woman for so many years in a common law marriage, that its like finding myself all over being ripped out of the Matrix as you guys call it.

For the most part, I am utterly happy. I feel free. Gonna go back to school. Devouring books on religion and philosophy left and right. Writing up a storm. Playing 360 whenever I want. Going places just to go, no being dominated by sensual lusts, which is shit anyway to me, overall, hardly worth the price of admission...

But as my other thread elsewhere states, it DOES get lonely sometimes. Like I said I'm sort of new at this, but an instant convert. See, I think it sucks at the same time for many of us, especially in cases like the guy above...because you are raised to believe that special someone is out there for you, that you will get married and live happily ever after; just like those OLD couples you see together. BOTH of my parents wanted me to get married, to have kids, I think they almost expected it....and they are shocked that it has not, and probably will never happen...unless a nasty divorce comes on its heels. My parents were products of a better age, when people got together, they STAYED when I tell them what its like out in the Matrix they are dumbfounded and perplexed. They keep telling me shit like "you're being too negative, you just haven't met the right girl yet.." Oh yeah? Well I'm 32, according to statistics if I haven't married by the time I'm 35, I probably never will, so that window is closing. And what right girl? The one that will cheat on me when she gets bored with a STEADY relationship, as though that were a bad thing? Or the one that has had 8-12 sexual partners by the time I meet her? Or the one that has 3 kids? LOVING SINGLE MOTHER LOOKING FOR MR. RIGHT....yeah keep looking.

But the point I'm trying to make is, this is a bitter pill to swallow, really. Can any of you honestly say that, before you went down the Rabbit Hole, woke up to the TRUTH, that you DIDN'T EVER want to get married at some point? I know I did. My best friend seems to think so highly of my sexual exploits for some reason, though I think they are SHIT, because its never what I wanted....he asked me........if your first girlfriend had stayed with you, the one you lost your virginity to, would you have wanted to marry her and be with the same girl for the rest of your life? The answer is YES. I wanted monogamy. To hell with conquests, they brought more pain than good, because I wanted the former and not the latter. I guess I was never the Alpha male, who uses and discards them, I TRIED to be for awhile....and that made me even MORE bitter.

I wanted love. Wanted to get married. Wanted to have children, raise a family TOGETHER. I wanted my wife and I to see my KIDS get married.

But indeed, I have woken up in the Matrix, and I realize that this is an impossible dream. I was born centuries too late to have a loving wife and a happy family.

The Buddhist in me knows that all things are impermanent, that this is but passing phenomena, all of it.......and that keeps me free, keeps me going, and usually keeps a smile on myself. My first love is God.

Nevertheless, it does make me bitter sometimes, this bullshit nightmare we live in. I am happy and proud to have discovered this movement, it adds such a degree of fullfillment to my life to know that I am not alone, going my own way....yet one cannot help but stare out into the Matrix from time to time, and frown in disgust wondering what could have, indeed, what SHOULD have been...

Christopher in Oregon writes


Buddhist Christian, eh? Sounds interesting. I still spout Christianity from time to time (bad habit), yet I see the draw in eastern religions. I have several beautiful Buddha statues adorning my home, and I've never figured out why. I just like them, and they make me feel good.

I can say in all honesty I've never wanted to get married. I was raised a Mormon, a religion that is just plain nuts about marriage, and yet I never bought into it. A lot of the credit goes to my parents who warned me away from marriage and women, but still, I've never wanted to "settle down" and have a wife and kids.

Especially kids. I've never cared for kids, even when I was a kid. Still don't like the little snot-machines. I have no paternal urges in the slightest. Children are nasty, smelly, rude and in constant need of a spanking.


Women aren't any better.

I started riding motorcycles when I was sixteen, and for some strange reason, I was always more interested in riding than I was in girls. I never really dated, and never really had a girlfriend. It wasn't for lack of opportunity. Fooled around a few times, but the whole thing, both sex and women, never really got my motor running. Now, a Kawasaki KLR 650 will get my testosterone boiling like nothing else. Plan to have one some day if my wife will let me.

Heheh .

Christopher in Oregon

Dogwild writes

Women are like many things -- potentially wonderful and potentially destructive. Men have always developed ways to enjoy wonderful things while limiting their destructiveness.

The problem with women is their is no way to limit their destructiveness. Men have zero control over women, and women have no restraints on their behavior.

I think men want to control their environments. There is nothing sinister about this. The word "controlling" is an unfair insult. The very nature of manhood is controlling one's environment.

Again, though, there is no controlling of women. An individual man cannot control a woman. Any effort to exert any control is "abusive." Society certainly doesn't control women.

This is a new phenomena. Women historically have always been controlled by social pressures and by the men in their lives. Again, this is not necessarily sinister control. The control has usually been largely constructive. Women are no longer controlled.

The lack of control has gotten to the point that a woman can literally shoot you in the head and probably get away with it by feigning status as an "abused woman." She certainly can throw your life into a turmoil at any time for no reason at all if you intertwine your life with her.

The bottom line is that society needs to figure out how to control women. Until society does this, men cannot safely deal with women. A woman is a man's biggest danger.

Mr reality writes

Good points. I have no desire to control a woman anymore. Except when I am in the bed with her. Then again I am just as likely to let her have her way with me. As long as she is not into anything insane. "Crazy" I can deal with.

I think it is better this way. The only thing I have a problem with is how the system (which women are a part of) tries hard to exert control over me. As one can see from my posts; I am NOT the one to be controlled by anyone or anything. I mind my business and do as I please. The only difference between women and myself is I have morals and would never do anything to anyone else that I would not wish done to me. I treat those who treat me with respect with equal respect. Women have no such standards.

Zon writes

Women have historically always been the most efficient controllers of women with the men setting the parameters.

As we look around our former land of the free and home of the brave, we will notice that we are no longer free and the brave souls have turned to Ghosts. How can a man be brave if he can have his life destroyed by a woman for looking at her the wrong way? We no longer need to say or do anything in order to have someone feel threatened and have us tarred & feathered.

How was it that our society functioned quite well prior to having thousands of “New Laws” put on the books every year? It has become so amazingly complex that the lawmakers themselves do not even read what the hell it is that they are signing into law and most of them are attorneys themselves. Hitler or any other tyrant throughout history would have creamed himself if he could have had half the laws that we currently have. Plus, our modern elite have the added bonus of all the high tech gadgetry to control and monitor societies and any uprisings that escape their societal sedatives. My friends, they have super advanced hi-tech weaponry that we do not even know about, that is at least 50 years advanced beyond the toys we know about today! Imagine our technology today compared to 1959 and this should give you a good idea where they are now and their exponential growth into the future.

Yes, it is a Fact...We are living in a very sick society which is becoming more psychotic by the month. All the parameters and support structures have been systematically and maliciously removed to destroy the men and therefore obliterate the family bond. Good has become evil and evil has become good!

Remember the so called fun loving 60's? Do NOT trust anyone over 30...Free-Love/Sex...Dress like a slug/slut...blow your mind...Take a Trip>>>"Turn on, tune in, drop out" coined by Timothy Leary.

The elite diligently peeled back all the cohesive structures that allowed men, women, children and families to bond. Was it perfect or a utopia? NO, but it worked and functioned quite well to allow society and civilization to advance for millenniums.

I am 45 years of age and remember becoming very irate with all the discoveries that I was making in the rabbit hole when I entered at 23 years of age…I thought things were bad back then. WOW, looking back in retrospect, it was like the Golden Age. Imagine how Irlandes must see things with the few more years of changes that he has experienced. That man has seen society go from highly functional to frighteningly dysfunctional in a few short years…Now wonder he got the hell out.

Do you think the author of A Brave New World back in 1931, Aldous Huxley, knew where he and his comrades were going to be taking society for the next millennium (our present day and into the future)? They knew all of this back in the 1500’s. Much of what we are experiencing and will experience was laid out back then….I do not mean a psychic or Nostradamus, but the elite themselves, in their own writings of the period.

Welcome to the “New Normal”. A Brave New World…

Williemolson writes

Interesting thread guys. I just want to add my .02 to this discussion. I am fortunate. I've remained in a relationship with the same woman for more than 31 years. There are some caveats though. I've never married her. There are no children. She is from a two parent family and likes men. And, also, she was born prefeminism and is older than I am. I also put her through some tests over the years. When I didn't have an apartment but lived in a dormitory type of situation, she still visited me regularly. She lent me money for graduate school. When I broke my ankle, she let me stay at her place so I wouldn't have to climb stairs and took care of me. Because of all she has done for me, I've arranged my affairs so that, should I pass before her, she will have the financial resources to be comfortable for the rest of her life.

Even though I love her for her companionship though, there are still times I have to be away from her for the peace, quiet, and tranquility that being alone often provides me. You see, I too am an only child, and when I was young I had medical problems as well. This spawned an introspected view of life, a life where thinking and reading were very pleasurable for me. Additionally, I just don't believe most good men need as much social interaction as women, particularly interactions that are filled more with busyness than genuine communication or the furtherance of personal self-efficacy.

Keep up the interesting posts guys. The wisdom that I've gleaned from my brothers on some of these MRA forums has been priceless.

Henryviii writes

That's what I've always said, even before I found boards like this. There are no constraints on female behavior. They certainly dont police themselves. There is never any real threat of violence from other women if they step out of line.

With men, at least we know that if a certain line is crossed, a physical altercation may result. With women, this isnt much of a threat, and there is no threat whatsoever when it comes to emotional/social actions they take against men.

So women have become low down, dirty, and evil with no respect, love or caring for anyone.