Wednesday, April 7, 2010

How I make my life work Part 1

kestrel writes

Ok, I am going to "come out of the closet" here. I have been wanting to for quite some time but was not sure how to do it so I'm just going to do it.

Living in the Anglosphere is difficult, we all know it, there is much to be unhappy about, but surprisingly, I have found a way to make it work for me right now.

I have started seeing SP (Service Providers aka Call Girls aka Escorts) here in Western Society. I debated this for years and I had many moral issues about it but when I looked at it over and over, logically it made sense, and to my surprise it is working.

This is something I wrote on an escort review board in a thread called "Why do you see SPs"? I realized that my answer was also my way of making the best of a bad situation, and surprisingly, even though it has only been a month, so far it's been working!

I know there are going to be people who disagree with this, and I am fine with this, what works for me may not work for others, I am simply sharing what I have learned, and like Lee who has chosen the option of ex-pat, actually went out and did it, and these are my experiences, so here it is...

I live below my means and I have a good job, and based on the survey results, I'm in the 6-figure category like the "average" guy who sees SPs. I also live below my means and as a result I have no debts and a positive 6-figure net worth.

One thing I realized awhile back was that when you're young, you have more Time than Money, so you are willing to use your Time and Energy to "pay" for women.

As I got older (I'm in my mid-30's) and made more Money, I realized that to me, my Time became more valuable than Money.

So whether we pay with Time, Energy, Money, Attention, Gifts, etc... make no mistake, EVERY MAN pays for it, there are no exceptions.

I also happen to be a guy that knows what he wants and is VERY particular about this. I know that for me, I could get civilian girls that are not my type or to the standards I want (for the record I don't like porn star or glamorous types, I like very skinny, really cute young girl next door types, the ex-A***a from [Escort Agency] would be my idea of a "10"). Also as said, my Time is precious, much more so than Money.

I spend a lot of my Time and Energy in furthering my career and also furthering my personal net worth. I'd rather do that than the "game" civilian girls. I wish I could go back in time and tell my 18 year old self to just focus on developing my wealth and just pay for SPs, I would probably be a retired multi-millionaire by now.

Also I am in a stage right now where I don't really believe that "Love" exists, but I know that for civilian women they do, so rather than spend lots of Time and Energy to "game" them when I am looking for something different, I'd rather have a direct, honest and upfront "relationship".

At this point we've discussed marriage (aka Marriage 2.0, Google this) in modern Western society, it's really not a good deal at all for men, in fact you're basically walking into indentured servitude, and since I don't believe in "Love" anymore, I am making the best of the situation. And let’s face it, women are NEVER satisfied, yet we as men feel compelled to make them happy, it’s a bottomless pit that could never be filled.

So the question is, am I happy these days? Truth be told, I am much happier than I could ever expect to be. I used to believe in Love, to the point where it was the most important thing to me, even more important than Money, and every night I'd go to bed, I'd ask myself, "Did you find Love today?" and the answer was always "No", I measured my happiness and self-worth on this and tortured myself for decades.

As soon as I realized there is no such thing as "Love", it was as if a dark veil was lifted over me, it's like imagine if someone with the strength of an Olympic athlete, all their life, was carrying a 200lb weight on their back, and all of a sudden it was lifted! Oh Glorious Life how much better it is!

So these days my mind is very much at peace, the emotional attacks on myself for not having found Love, or the girl I want that didn't want me back, no longer haunt, taunt and hurt me. For the first time in my life I'm actually living life for myself, not feeling like I have to measure to this standard that can never be reached, not feeling or fearing the sting of the taskmaster that can never be appeased.

I fall in the average category in terms of money spent in that I'm seeing SP's once every two weeks for an hour.

I'm thinking of changing that to once every week for half an hour.

My car payments end middle of next year and you know what, seeing SPs is less than my car payments, so I'll just keep it up.

As far as costs go, it's definitely "cheaper" in terms of Time, Energy, Attention, Money, etc... spent going to an SP vs. playing the "dating game".

I think something's changed. Women in the Western world aren't sweet anymore (maybe they never were but had to at least pretend), I was flipping through this book and women used to go to "finishing schools" where they learned manners, how to be polite and appreciative, of course such things no longer exist.

I don't expect a June Cleaver, all I want is a nice cute girl next door that is truly sweet, and I was never able to find that in a single girl. Maybe it no longer exists.

So given that's the case, I'm doing what I can to make the best of the given situation, and after carefully looking at all the options, going SP was the best "deal".

I took a lot of time (I would say the last 3 years) before making this decision, and it's only the past month or so that I have started seeing SPs (I saw one a couple of years back just once) so I am very new to this, maybe things will change, or maybe this will be the course of my life for the future.

All I know is, so far in my own experiences, paying for sex has been far "cheaper" than sex for "free".