Part 67
Still on "Glossary of Terms
and Phrases(commonly used by the predatory female)"
DON'T CATEGORIZE ME, I'M NOT LIKE
OTHER WOMEN.
You are hearing the faint scraping of the asp
moving inside the wicker basket. You have
tinkered with the latch and should consider
yourself lucky to have so far escaped serious
harm. Flee while you can.
I'M NOT A LOOSE WOMAN.
If that's true, why is there an "On Deck
Circle" painted on her bedroom floor?
WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK.
You haven't been as obedient as her roommate's
boyfriend and it's becoming socially
embarrassing for her.
YOU'RE NOT THE PERSON YOU WERE
WHEN WE MET.
The Walt Disney ending to your affair that
she and her pedestrian friends expected did
not materialize. Moreover, you've stopped
grinning stupidly while she makes long distance
calls from your phone.
YOU'RE VERY GOOD FOR ME.
You are the only one I've met recently who'll
indulge my whims with his wallet and wait on
me hand and foot.
YOU CAN HAVE ANYBODY YOU
WANT, WHY DID YOU PICK ME?
Standard throwaway line to spot check your
capacity for reason after being given a bite of
the apple.
YOU HAVE A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO
DO.
She enjoys a lover's quarrel and likes to feel
wronged. This very statement indicates you
are in big trouble already. She's angling for a
good groveling to tell her friends about.
HOW DO YOU DEFINE OUR
RELATIONSHIP?
She is looking for a progress report on her
skills at conning you into a real stupid
decision.
WHEN CAN I MEET YOUR PARENTS?
I'm going to need your mother's support in
safety wiring your scrotum to the marital
pegboard.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
Will I be able to cash in on your best years?
YOU'RE SO CHEAP.
Why should I tolerate your reluctance to
spend money when virtual armies of men
can't wait to dump their wallets in my lap.
What would my friends say?
YOU AREN'T CARING AND SENSITIVE.
You don't show the proper enthusiasm when
reminded to open doors for her, take out the
trash, empty her cat box, or carry her
packages. Further, you don't grin like a
gibbon ape while she orders a seventy-five
dollar bottle of wine at dinner.
I SENSE A DISTANCE BETWEEN YOU
AND MOTHER.
You have just met "Mother" and receive a
rude reminder that, with age, everything does
get bigger, hairier and closer to the ground.
YOU'RE PUTTING LIMITS ON OUR
RELATIONSHIP.
YOU ARE UNABLE TO COMPROMISE.
YOU REFUSE TO NORMALIZE OUR
RELATIONSHIP.
You won't consent to her living independently
on your bank account, with no accountability
whatsoever.
THIS CONCLUDES THE PREDATORY FEMALE!
