Part 52
This subchapter is called "The Circus"
Q. What is the atmosphere at the divorce
court?
A. Inside the courtroom reigns a quiet solemnity
of judgement day. But in the court lobby,
a different scene prevails. There gather the
supporters and spectators loyal to the predatory
female. Whereas the husband is usually
present with only his attorney and is understandably
in a somber mood, the wife's viewpoint
is entirely different. She's there to claim
the spoils of victory. For her, it's a party
atmosphere and she wants her friends and
relatives to share the good cheer. They stand
in the hallways, joking and laughing, hushing
momentarily if the husband walks by. Appropriately,
the bailiff should distribute party
favors to the predatory female and her entourage,
little pointed hats, horns, and
whistles that roll out.
The next subchapter is called "The Stretching"
Q. What happens inside the courtroom?
A. In the course of issuing a divorce decree,
the judge must decide on the size of the financial
awards to the wife, order custody of the
children, and divide up the property in various
proportions. The following synopsis is a
general summary of what usually occurs.
Spousal Support
This is alimony, one of the more pernicious
aspects of divorce. The longer you've been
married, the more you'll pay. Awards up to
one third of the husband's take-home pay are
not unusual. In some jurisdictions, women
married over twenty years are presumed to deserve
spousal support for the rest of their
lives. Spousal support can be, but is not
always, tax deductible. If you fail to pay, you
can be subject to arrest in addition to having
your wages garnished.
Child Custody
Odds still largely favor the wife being awarded
custody of the children unless she is proven
to be a detriment to them, an unfit mother.
It's an uphill battle for a man seeking custody
of his children, but can be easier if the wife
doesn't want her children or is confined to a
jail or mental institution.
Child Support
The dollar figure is determined by the husband's
income and number of children. It's
not tax deductible for the payer. The husband
is normally ordered to pay year around, regardless
of the children's visits with him. The
courts are generally agreeable to periodic increases
in support, and will probably even
award attorney's fees to the ex-wife returning
to court for more money. Failure to pay regularly
and on time can result in arrest and
criminal charges in addition to wage garnishment
or seizure of property. Nationwide crime
computers are now being used to track delinquent
husbands.
Property Settlement
In community property states, all community
property is theoretically split evenly. Bargaining
for reduced spousal support (alimony), or
attempts to save the husband's retirement,
however, often result in grossly uneven divisions
favoring the wife. Furthermore, attorneys
are practiced at having previously sacred
separate property judged as "donated" to the
community. In states without community
property laws, wives can by awarded nearly
all the property. An innovation in this area is
the awarding of what amounts to one half of
the husband's college or professional degree
to the spouse. This entitles her to half of all
proceeds from the practice or use of the
degree. In the case of a physician husband,
for example, she would receive half of present
and future earnings from his practice.
Retirement
Retirement funds accumulated after the wedding
are up for grabs like other property. The
longer you are married, the more jeopardized
your retirement is, and the larger amount
your spouse will claim. Divorcing retirees are
forced to pay support (spousal and child)
from the residue of their retirement.
Attorney's Fees
The husband is almost universally ordered to
pay his wife's attorney's fees as well as his
own. Years later, if she decides to sue him
again, the rule still applies. Fees for these
actions may run into thousands of dollars.
Garnishment
Wages may be garnished and property seized
to pay alimony, child support, attorney's fees,
or whatever else the court deems appropriate,
including court costs.
