Part 39
The next subchapter is called "The New Plebe"
Q. What about the post-marriage slide into
subserviency experienced by the new
husband?
A. This is where the rubber meets the road.
He is now the obsequious finished product of
the matriarchal society. He becomes a second
class citizen the very moment he is wed, and
it's downhill from there. He may not comprehend
his new status for a long time. Society,
on the other hand, recognizes it immediately.
The disenfranchised husband is part of American
humor. People commonly refer to a wife
as "your better half or ask to speak with
"the boss" in reference to your distaff side.
The next subchapter I'm on is called "Another Pitfall"
Q. What other seeds of destruction are inherent
in marriage?
A. Although either unaware or able to conceal
it, the new wife is almost immediately dissatisfied.
She wanted stability and security,
but now finds these commodities boring.
There's no adventure or excitement. She begins
to chafe at the bit. She halfway wishes
her husband had stuck to his guns when he
originally declined to marry. She begins to
resent him for marrying her. In a sense, she
will never forgive him for letting her do this
to herself. Finally, like a cow grazing along
the edge of a field, she begins leaning on
the fence. The fence bows and stretches
awkwardly. Without crossing over, she may
soon be able to enjoy the next pasture while
defecating in her own.
The next subchapte is called "The Long Shot"
Q. For those of us unfortunates already
married, do you have any general advice?
A. Hey, everybody gets fifty dollars of house
money. Some guys go into the casino and
come out wearing diamonds; others come out
wearing a barrel. The odds are against you,
but things just might work out. We certainly
hope so. After all, a man should be entitled to
spend his paycheck the way he wants.
