Part 38
The next subchapter I'm on is called "Wise Man"
Q. Recently I attended a wedding where an
interesting twist took place. As the guests presented
gifts, one gave the groom a lever action
rifle. The surprised groom heard the guest
explain that the rifle was the only gift there
for him and would be the only one he'd get
out of the divorce. The bride was somewhat
miffed, but her mother was quite angry. Your
comment?
A. The guest was obviously experienced with
predatory females, was a friend of the groom,
and probably wanted to see the groom receive
at least one gift.
The next subchapter I'm on is called "The Afterglow"
Q. What is the marriage afterglow?
A. The facial expressions of the newlyweds
constitute the marriage afterglow. On the
female, it is a quiet, contented, and privately
triumphant look. On the new husband, it is an
expression found on infants who have just
crapped in their pants. He sits stupidly in an
oozing euphoria, grinning from ear to ear,
subconsciously knowing he's just made a serious
error, but not really understanding it. He
somehow suspects that now HIS clothes go on
the wire hangers and HERS belong on the
wooden ones.
The next subchapter I'm on is called "Procreation"
Q. Our society glamorizes pregnancy and
childbirth. Can you give us a realistic view?
A. Be prepared to pay from three to five
thousand dollars for the delivery of each
child. Then brace yourself for a minimum
cost of one hundred thousand dollars, per
head, to raise them. These are "no frills"
prices. Then, sweating profusely, you'd better
throw yourself on the ground and invoke the
name of God in prayer that your kids suffer
no birth defects. Moreover, consider the
physical destruction of your wife. Childbirth
is hard on women. Their skin stretches out of
proportion and their breasts sag. Some never
lose the additional weight gained. Veins and
bruises become permanently visible. Their
hair falls out. If there are no serious complications
in delivery, she may still be left with
hemorrhoids. And this is the GOOD news.
The BAD news comes with odd blood types,
complications in pregnancy and delivery,
birth abnormalities and incompetent or careless
doctors and nurses. Remember, malpractice
insurance premiums haven't skyrocketed
because doctors are all shining examples of
professional integrity. An alarming percentage
of these guys are REAL BOZOS! You
should ask yourself if you want to subject
your wife or girlfriend to this. Do you want to
subject yourself to seeing her subjected? Do
you want to spend the next twenty years raising
children? Do you want to bring children
into a sick and polluted world teetering on the
brink of nuclear holocaust? Remember, a hell
of a lot of women want to have babies, but
very few want to raise children. If you commit
a tort against someone, you're liable in a
court of law. But a woman can methodically
destroy the health of her innocent baby by
smoking, by alcohol abuse, and/or drug misuse,
both before and after delivery, and it's
perfectly legal! Further, millions of little kids
constantly take a back seat to parents' careers
as fifty percent of today's mothers now work
outside the home. Never in history have so
many children spent most of their waking
hours in the care of paid custodians, strangers
for the most part, or been forced into the
fearful life of a "latch key" child. Runaways
are epidemic in this country. People produce
children, then provide them with homes
which are so terrible the kids prefer the
streets! However, despite these horrors, the
population continues soaring to disastrous
proportions, nurtured by an army of predatory
females who are driven by a consuming
madness for reproduction.
