I'm now on the sub chapter called "Marital Bigotry"
Q. With the sinister facts about marriage being
no secret, how can anyone deliberately go
out and do that to themselves?
A. They've either been kept from knowing
the truth or, upon hearing what a terrible trap
marriage is, they've refused to believe it. They
can't face knowing something so important to
them is really a sham. They reject the truth. In
addition, the matriarchal society suppresses
facts about marriage so that young men will
continue to eagerly offer themselves up.
Newspapers will publish daily pages filled
with the latest betrothals and weddings, but
the divorces are either hidden back on a statistical
page or left out completely. Realistically,
each day's divorce settlements should be published
with dollar amounts of alimony, child
support, attorney's fees, and property awards.
Q. Would the matriarchal society ever allow
A. No. We live in a society where the predatory
females, aided and encouraged by the
legal system, have reduced the beauty and
sanctity of marriage to the level of a mass
food fight in a National Lampoon film. A
daily public airing of the grim side of marriage
would have even our more matrimonially
retarded citizens avoiding the nuptial vows.
The well would dry up. The matriarchal society
would never allow this to happen.
The next subchapter I'm on is called "The Family"
Q. My fiancee is a terrific girl, but her family
is less than impressive. Her mother is a religious
kook and her father is an alcoholic with
a stomach resembling a 150 pound sack of
chicken scratch. Should I overlook her family
in my appraisal of her?
A. You'll regret it for the rest of your life if
you do. Her family is her pedigree. They are
your window to the future, one of the few
concessions nature has given man in his bout
with the predatory female. Whatever you dislike
about them, you'll someday dislike about
her, especially where the mother is concerned.
You have to ask yourself the same question
about her family that you do about her. "Are
these folks so admirable, captivating and
beautiful that it would be a credit to be sued
The next sub chapter I'm on is called "The Mother-In-Law"
Q. I'm always hearing about problems with
the mother-in-law. Is there really any truth to
A. Let's put it this way. Either mother-in-law
can be a problem for wife, husband, or both.
History teaches that it's the wife's mother
who most often causes trouble. They meddle,
criticise, and cajole. They form a secret, unholy
alliance with their daughters that naturally
exclude husbands. They are the smug
sources of dissension in families all over the
nation. Marriage is rough stuff as it is, and
these old war horses increase the tension.
Picture an overweight, balding woman with
an increasingly apparent mustache. She is
wearing a mumu, a square plastic shower cap,
and has large, flabby arms spotted with bee
stings (like a watermelon). She lives in a house
filled with doilies, worthless gimcracks,
magnetic turtles on the refrigerator door, a
couple of cats, and a large ceramic goose on
the front lawn. She tithes religiously, considers
you a pagan, and consorts regularly
with church ladies and a local minister. She's
an Amway distributor and shops at K-Mart.
Do you want something like that even remotely
involved in your life? Also, keep in mind,
daughters tend to emulate their mothers, a
horrifying thought if you observe what's loose
in public today.