Part 23
I'm now on the sub chapter called "Beware of the Camel"
Q. My girlfriend has suggested that we live
together. She says our relationship can't "go
anywhere" otherwise. What are your views?
A. The predatory female loves to utilize the
ancient Arabic principle that once a camel
gets its head into the tent, getting the
rest of the beast inside is easy. You not only
have to consider the pandemonium and possible
destruction that goes with the camel in the
tent, but the uproar and damages attendant in
getting her out. Remember, there's no such
thing as a free lunch. You'll pay, one way or
the other, even if it's just with your peace of
mind.
The next sub chapter I'm covering is called "snip"
Q. Does the predatory female possess a subconscious
desire to geld the male?
A. Yes, but usually she is happy with her
head sufficiently into the tent for the legal
process to perform a symbolic castration.
Occasionally, however, she will show interest
in less abstract methods, providing yet another
reason to sleep with one eye open whenever
the camel is in residence. At the very
least, a man will always be weakened in proportion
to the amount of time he spends with
a female. They have a natural ability to drain
the male, both mentally and physically. This
makes him easier to control and more susceptible
to her entreaties. A man living with a
woman is in a most precarious position. She
may wait on him until he is unaccustomed to
taking care of himself. She may feed him until
he becomes fat and clumsy. He loses the eye
of the tiger, gradually becoming another servile
gelding of the matriarchal society. The
ultimate conclusion appears in the marital
state where he is reduced to a legally disenfranchisee!
figurehead, a pathetic slave of the system.
Q. Does the married man ever realize his
entrapment?
A. Eventually, but many strut ignorantly and
pompously around in their cages for years
before awakening to their predicament.
Others, to survive, adapt a "peace at any
price" attitude.
The next sub chapter is called "Housecalls"
Q. I was living alone until 1 became infatuated
with a girl. I thought the feeling was
mutual and we lived together for six months.
When it became apparent she was taking advantage
of my hospitality, we agreed that she
would move back to her previous address, no
hard feelings. Shortly thereafter, I left on a
business trip. Returning home, I found the
locks changed and a court order to stay off
my own property, pending another hearing. It
took my attorney four months to reinstate me
and cost nearly ten thousand dollars. During
that time I lived in a motel and she entertained
wildly in my home. There was property
damage, but it's evidently an uncollectible
debt. Is it no longer safe to let a woman into
your home?
A. Since the Lee Marvin trial it has become
fashionable for women, having received some
form of hospitality or "oral promise," either
real or imagined, to seek financial rewards
from the courts. Never has the admonition to
keep the camel's head out of the tent been
more timely. Allowing a woman into your
home, spending the night at her place, or even
lingering in her company can result in your
being sued, evicted, criminally charged, subjected
to public ridicule, or dragged through
months of embarrassment and inconvenience.
Of course, if you're married, the situation is
explosive. Wives, discovering secret affairs,
have been sued by their husbands' mistresses
for "disruption of livelihood."
