Part 33
The next subchapter I'm on is called "Cat and Mouse"
Q. Once having "hooked" a man into
marriage, the predatory female is bored?
A. Exactly. If the cat catches the mouse, it
ruins the game. Marriage is the death blow to
whatever vestiges of dignity and charm the
man has for her. At best, like a gelding in the
corral with a brood mare, he is tolerated as
long as he behaves.
The next subchater I'm on is called "Defense Of The Nest Phenomenon"
Q. What is the defense of the nest phenomenon
and its effects on marriage?
A. One of the most curious but poignant
characteristics of the predatory female, it
stems from the fact that a woman is primarily
designed for reproducing the species. Her instincts
are hinged to this reproductive urge. A
major necessity is security. Graphically, when
the female is helpless in labor and hiding in
the bushes, she needs a strong male warrior to
protect her and the forthcoming baby from
attack or molestation. This may be the one
time she must depend solely on him, independent
of attorneys, girlfriends, her mother, or
a side deal with another man. Naturally she
requires someone who cannot be swayed from
his purpose and who is strong enough to see
her through the ordeal. Although a modern
female may not anticipate hiding in the bushes
during labor, she still has that desire for a
strong male protector. The desire is so strong
that her current escort, boyfriend, or husband
will find himself constantly tested. She will
prod him. She will nag and jab at him to see if
he will stand his ground and put her in place.
If he fails to assert himself, she will feel
insecure. This will provoke even more attempts
to make him take charge. She wants
the security that goes with her own submission.
If she doesn't get it, she'll become a
screeching fishwife in her primal clutching for
security. She must ever be reassured that the
nest will be defended.
Q. Aside from explaining the common scolds
and nags, how does this phenomenon apply to
marriage? How is it destructive to marriage?
A. Marriage is a poor choice for the male.
The legal aspects alone are so enslaving and
degrading to him that it's become a public
joke. By law, a wife is in the driver's seat,
period. Women know this. They know marriage
is a legal and social castration of the
male, and in the quasi-fantasy scenario of
their minds, this disqualifies him as a defender
of the nest. Samson's hair has been cut. His
strength is gone. Even as the husband leaves
the wedding ceremony with his new bride, she
secretly knows his charisma has vanished. He
has become subjugated. She looks at him with
new eyes and may herself be confused as to
why. The torch has passed and now their relationship
is different. In her subconscious
thoughts, the seed has been planted to begin
looking for a new defender of the nest,
regardless of how tough and protective the
husband may be, and whether or not he is
with her during childbirth. This seed will lie
dormant until other factors cause it to germinate,
but meanwhile the husband goes skipping
along, unaware that he no longer meets
the criteria as defender for the predatory
female.
The next subchapter I'm on is called "The Husband As Anti-Hero"
Q. What do you mean when you say the average
husband is an anti-hero?
A. For years it's been fashionable to portray
the husband as a bumbling, subservient mental
retard, especially in motion pictures and
television. On TV sitcoms, the married man is
often the subject of constant ridicule from the
wife and her friends as he does one stupid
thing after another. Sometimes he's a bigot,
at others he's shown up by his wife or kids.
The undertone is that the husband is a noncontributor,
a problem, or a stumbling block.
In commercials he is shown by his wife and a
female real estate agent how they really can
afford the new house, whereupon he goes
bounding around the front yard like a moron.
Or they might show him making a total disaster
of dinner on the night he is left alone with
the children. The unspoken message is that
when the chips are down, it's the wife or another
female that knew all along what was
best. Conversely, when a real hero appears, he
is most often single. How would Superman,
The Lone Ranger, James Bond, or even Jesus
Christ have come off as a married man? The
answer is: terrible. Married men are hard to
sell as heroes. A picture of James Bond trying
to placate a shrieking wife while she threatens
to have his wages garnished doesn't fit the
hero image. A married man is a cornered
man. He is a man who has lost something,
and this makes it hard for him to be the
classic, free thinking, and independent hero.
