Friday, April 2, 2010

What Divorce Law is Doing to Marriage Part 4

Equitable distribution, alimony, and child support law produce a net transfer of assets from you to your ex.

Child custody law produces a net transfer of assets from you to your ex.

From an economic point of view, divorce is a wealth redistribution racket that forces fathers to make payments to mothers. From a social point of view, it is a family resocialization scheme that turns mothers into State-sponsored single parents and fathers into infrequent visitors of their estranged children.

When economic and the social aspects of divorce law are netted, fathers are two-time losers. They must pay for the maintenance of women to whom they are no longer married and for the support of children to whom they are no longer fully parents-all the while having to carry the costs of their own new households.

This skewed regime spawns strong reactionary forces. The strife which the divorce should have ended has only begun.

Your ex will warm to calling all the shots. She may cancel your visitation now and then. If she’s truly mean-spirited, she’ll go much further. Under the cover of her court-appointed role as sole custodian, she’ll systematically sever your relationship with the children. She’ll badmouth you to them. She’ll schedule their extracurricular activities during your visitation time. For good measure, she may accuse you of domestic violence and child abuse.

The authorities will act quickly to “protect” your children from you. They’ll curtail your visitation during their investigation; you’ll be restricted to being with your children only in the presence of a supervisor, and you’ll be ordered to pay the supervisor’s fee.

In the end, your children themselves will refuse to spend anytime with you. Their brainwashing will be complete and irreversible. They will be alienated from you forever.

More efficiently, your ex may simply move with the children to a distant community, with the law’s acquiescence.

As the struggle wears on, your frustrations will deepen. You’ll pass up overtime work rather than earn extra income for your ex. You’ll be tempted to “do a fade”: to flee the jurisdiction, and disappear.

Your health will deteriorate. Your sleep will be disturbed. You’ll feel fatigued and distracted. You’ll sweat a lot. You’ll develop elusive internal pain. The tests will rule out a tumor, the pills will help a little. But the pain won’t go away.

While the law pits your ex against you, its ultimate victims will be your children. Your boys will be battered by the absence of their most important role model. Your girls will be gutted by the loss of their primary standard for opposite-sex comportment.

They’ll seek compensation elsewhere – in aggressive, seductive, or rebellious behavior. They’ll develop deep-seated psychological problems. They’ll drop out of school, lose their jobs, and get in trouble with the police.

You will know no peace for a generation.

The odds are even that your marriage will end in divorce.

The odds are daunting that your divorce will disrupt your well-being. You’ll lose your children and your property. You’ll pay alimony, child support and attorneys’ fees. You’ll be subject to State scrutiny over employment and spending decisions. You’ll have chronic health problems. You’ll watch helplessly as your children carry seething emotional scars into adulthood.

The odds are it doesn’t pay for you to marry and have kids.