Friday, April 2, 2010

What Divorce Law is Doing to Marriage Part 20

More from the words of Jed Abraham

You will pay Dr. Young’s fee, and he will deliver his report to your lawyer. Your lawyer will tell you that the report shows you are nuts: you married a woman who is hysterical and paranoid and has a lot of unresolved anger.

Otherwise, you’re in great shape, except for a touch of introversion. It appears your wife agreed to marry you because subconsciously sensed you would be too limp ever to leave her first.

As for the abuse, Dr. Young is satisfied there was none, and he will so testify. He is also satisfied that Dr. Karl is a quack and that the “anatomically correct” dolls she exposed to your children are scientifically unreliable.

So are the results of her penile plethysmograph. You registered a sight elevation when you were shown “deviant” material, but the elevation is not statistically significant – that is, the margin of error in the test is greater than the size of your elevation. You are that limp.

But your case is still an uphill battle. Most of these psychological tests were not designed to determine who is the better parent. And there is no generally accepted proof that any psychological test can determine who is the better parent. On the basis of the tests, plus his interviews and general professional judgment, Dr. Young believes that you are the better parent, and that he will so testify. But all he can really say is that you’re not a wacko, you have the kinds of personality traits that meet your kids needs, you put their needs first more often than your wife does, and you don’t have bad breath.

The problem is your wife just doesn’t come off bad enough. She’s got a short fuse and she’s on the warpath, but she’s not a candidate for the funny farm. The kids are under a lot of pressure, their grades are down, and they have to put up with their mother’s boyfriend in the house, but they are functioning. They love their father but they are living with and are attached to their mother. Their Mother.

Your wife’s lawyer strategy is now clear. She sees you’re an ok father. She knows she can’t prove you abused the kids. She’s not going to charge you officially. She’s just going to plant the suspicion that you may be an abuser. She is betting on the clincher that the court, which may be inclined to take a long shot and give a guy like you joint custody, will not do so when there is evidence, however weak, that he abused his children.

This concludes the chapter “When Your Wife File for Divorce”. Next chapter is called “Your Custody Hearing”. This is a 25 page chapter and I will have no idea how long it will take me to get through this chapter or how many summaries it will take. I do promise to be very thorough.