Trying to Figure Out Why Men Aren't Manning Up and Getting Married

Kay Hymowitz is trying to figure out "Where Have the Good Men Gone?" That is a very good question why don't men want to man up and get married. Me trying to figure this out, I browsed Happy Bachelors Forum

While browsing it occurred to me that there is at least a 50% Divorce Rate with at least 70% of them being initiated by women. God knows how many unhappy marriages don't end in divorce because divorce is so damn costly.

None the less while seeking answers I decided to play Brtiney Spears song OOPS I DID IT AGAIN!

Then I decided to browse the Divorce Law section of Happy Bachelors Forum. In that section I believe I found the answer to Kay Hymowitz question of where have the good men gone, or why they are not manning up and getting married

As you know there are millions of divorce whore stories out there, and here is one of them.

In Dalrock's post today, he quotes a comment made by someone last year on a different post. It is worthwhile reading for anyone who has doubts about the bachelor life:

 I recently discovered your site while searching the net about frivolous divorce and I think it is great you are trying to educate people about the realities of divorce in America. I went through a divorce two years ago, although I did nothing “wrong” so to speak, but rather because my wife was bored. Under my questioning, she said there was nothing I could have done to have prevented the divorce, which I believe to be true. I was not really lacking “game” (hadn’t heard of the term until recently, but I was manly and attractive), but she was very tired of the routine and banalities of married life, and wanted to, in her words, “find herself”, whatever that means.

As is typical, she did very well in the divorce and got the house, car, most of our assets (she cleaned out our bank accounts and savings and stripped the house bare while I was on a camping trip with a friend which she encouraged me to take – I should have been suspicious as it was the first time she had ever wanted me to do something like that, but I was overjoyed, and of course, completely taken by surprise when I returned to a house empty save for the divorce papers; I was never able to recover any of the things she took preemptively), full custody of both children, alimony until remarriage, and I got a disproportionate amount of debt and had to pay for the entire divorce, both lawyers. I have very restrictive visitation, usually I only get to see my children two days per month. I knew women usually were favored in divorce, but had no idea how unjust it was until it happened to me. In addition, I was completely blindsided. She was still very affectionate and sex had not dropped off at all. I never saw it coming.

I am a traditional Christian man, and had always looked forward to fatherhood and raising my children. In fact, I would say having a family was my dream ever since I was little (I never felt “defined” by my career or that it was anything other than a means to an end, but I am not a CEO or doctor). Now I am watching my children grow up in fast-forward, without any say in how they are raised. I have missed all of the birthdays and Christmases (and other holidays) for the past two years, not by choice. It is truly devastating to spend a month not hearing my children’s voice, or even touching them (let alone any human being) for weeks at a time, to say nothing of losing (who I thought to be) my soulmate after 15 years of marriage.

What is the most painful realization is that I have lost my future. I make $70,000 a year, but have to live on $15,000 after the payments (which I pay the taxes for, can you believe it? – I am in the $70,000 bracket!). I went from a decent house to a $500/month apartment in a bad part of town, and now live alone. I realize that I am becoming estranged from my children (I don’t really know anything about them) and my wife tries to make visitation difficult for me – it is awkward for her to arrange and for her new lover to deal with. I tried to be just a “fun dad”, who takes the kids out for a day of fun and doesn’t really “parent” besides providing paychecks and phone calls, but that is becoming difficult. Having a family is still my deepest longing in life, and I am so lonely, but I am unable to move on financially and start a new family with another woman (I am attractive enough and have the personality to get women quite a bit younger than me), because no woman wants a man that keeps $15,000 a year and goes deeper in debt every month to make ends meet. I could never support a family. I really see no hope of getting out of this vicious cycle – by the time all the payments stop I will be in my 50′s and I will have missed my opportunity, and be forced to live alone until I die. I can’t even have the dignity of a retirement, because my wife took half of my retirement fund which I had been contributing to since I was 22, and now I am so far in the red I have been forced to withdraw rather than contribute under severe penalties in order to make ends meet.

I have come to terms with the fact that this story can’t possibly have a happy ending, and my life is so far removed from what I envisioned and planned it would be like during my youth that it is unbelievable. I feel like a fool for having done everything “right”, because it ultimately made no difference in my happiness and fulfillment.

I wanted to thank you for being a force promoting honoring commitments and discouraging divorce, because it seems like a rare opinion to take in today’s society. You are helping the community by performing this service. I decided to relate my tale here for much the same purpose – if someone reads this and is able think more critically about what the legal implications of marriage are for men and be more cautious it will have served its purpose – I know as for myself I was really too overjoyed to be spending the rest of my life (ha ha) with the woman I loved to really understand what I was getting myself into, in addition to being ignorant and naive about the realities of divorce. If I had to do it all over again I would rather have remained single. It is truly better not to have known paternal and marital love than to have felt it and had it ripped away, regardless of what that folk wisdom quote says about loving and losing.

Please men, think very critically about what you are getting into. The laws are equal, but in court it won’t come out that way.

Adam in Chains Dealing With a Modern Woman

I was reading a entry over at The-Spearhead and Adam in Chains made a fantastic comment. I felt  my readers needed to read his comment since it truly kicks ass! Here it is!

one time, in my home, i was with some friends, they bring a new woman since they know im still single..

Well we start to get aquainted, but after about 20 minutes talking, she starts to the usually men-haters languages..

so, after 5 minutes.. i had enough, i stand up and i said:

i agree with you..
i will let you ride the alpha-cock-carousel
i will let you decide about your future
i will let you bang whoever you want
i will let you fight for your equality goals
i will let you find your way of life
i will let you choose your job
..but i will never let you ruin my own life so, please leave, close the door and never come back!

i let you imagine the rest..

Dissecting Women's Sexual Currency Value

I guess I will do one more, I don’t want to do too much over lap from what I already have stored in my archives but this one is too good to pass up. After all there has been lots of discussions about women spending their youth on bad boys, jerks, prison guys, musicians and all other guys who are exciting but don’t have much have a financial future. While saving the nice responsible guys for marriage once their youthful looks are gone or fading away.  What I’m going do is break down what I believe is their Sexual Currency Value. I’m surprised I don’t have a post in my archives which breaks down this value so I will do it right now.

I'm going to assign a total of 100 currency dollars for the ladies total sexual currency value and for each year they age some of this sexual currency is going to permanently vanish. To make it fun I inserted music videos which I deem to be appropriate as I go through this

Just turned 18  years old Queen of the world and has all 100 sexual currency dollars

Now she is 19 and she now has 88 sexual currency dollars 12 has been forever lost

Now she is 20 and she now has 76 sexual currency dollars 24 has been forever lost

Now she is 21 and she now has  64 sexual currency dollars 36 has been forever lost

With that said she most likely is a very hot babe who wants to have her fun and sow her wild oats and Marriage is the furthest from her mind and just wants a fun wild time

Now she is 22 and she now has 54 sexual currency dollars 46 have been forever lost

Now she is 23 and she now has 44 sexual currency dollars 56 have been forever lost

Now she is 24 and she now has  34 sexual currency dollars 66 have been forever lost

Overall she is still pretty attractive and now is thinking about marriage but will be super picky while still having fun with all the exciting guys

Now she is 25 years old and she has 24 sexual currency dollars 76 have been for ever lost

Now she is 26 years old and she has 16 sexual currency dollars 84 have been for ever lost

Now she is 27 years old and she has 10 sexual currency dollars 90 have been for ever lost

Of course this is when fertility starts to decline and her attractiveness really starts to fade fast so now it's really time to go Husband searching and find a nice guy with a nice job/good career potential when a couple years earlier she wouldn't have given that guy her time of day

Now she is 28 years old and she now has 7 sexual currency dollars 93 have been for ever lost

Now she is 29 years old and she now has 5 sexual currency dollars 95 have been for ever lost

Of course once BIG 30 hits, panic will set in! To her almost any guy who has a decent earning job will do and she has to desperately get married fast before her last few dollars of sexual currency disappears all together.

Now she is 30 years old and she now has 3 sexual currency dollars 97 have been for ever lost

Now she is 31 years old and she now has 2 sexual currency dollars 98 have been for ever lost

Now she is 32 years old and she now has 1 sexual currency dollar 99 have been for ever lost

At 33 years old all her sexual currency value has been spent and if she didn't snatch her husband now she is in huge trouble

Of course these women are at where they are now due to their poor selections of men. Rather than admitting to their poor choices, taking responsibility and warning the next generation of women that they will end up alone with cats and no one to take care of them in old age should the next generation of women snub the nice hard working men during their youth.

Nope instead they go on a HUGE TIRADE

We get the pleasure of reading articles such as Child Man in the Promise Land, Where Have All The Good Men Gone etc

Now you should never give in and marry these used up women unless you want a future like this guy from the 25 second to 1:46 mark

Here is the song you get to look forward to listening if you end up like the guy in the previous video

Now in all due seriousness it baffles my mind when guys end up marrying 27 plus year olds. Your putting your lifetime financial stake at risk while you only get to enjoy the benefit at most 10% of her sexual currency value while guys before you got to enjoy the other 90% of her sexual currency value at a much cheaper rate.

Think about it!

Is the Manosphere really dead?

I will very rarely post but I did browse Hawaiian Libertarian discussing whether or not the Manosphere is dead. I left this comment in his comment section and I will post it here as well for all to read

The Manosphere is dead or alive and well depending on how you characterize it.

If you are talking about MRA’s trying to fight the system and get laws changed against long odds. Yes the Manosphere is dead.

If you are talking about websites or blogs where one person is trying be the big rock star and have tons of followers through the internet. The Manasphere is dead.

But is the Manasphere really dead? I think it’s alive and well and MGTOW will be growing in big numbers even if most of them don’t realize they are a MGHOW.

If you are a young man, there is a good chance you have seen an uncle, a father, a older brother, a male friend, or a male relative get screwed in the legal system. An example would be my brother in law. My brother in law is a Christian, a very hard working man and a man with integrity. Well his first wife (my sister is wife #2) had an affair with another man and wanted a divorce. It turned out he had to pay the legal fees for both him and his ex wife, he had to pay her alimony, child support, and got the bigger of the two properties. On top that his ex wife brainwashed his youngest child where now his youngest child want nothing to do with him and it’s been years since he has been in contact with his youngest child. Now his first wife made out like a bandit but this is something I took notice of, and is one of the biggest reasons I will never get married period in my lifetime. This means one less woman who will get to have a wedding day sometime in her lifetime.

 Now this is one of millions of stories how men get screwed in divorce court. Even if many men don’t read MGTOW/MRA websites, individually will bail out. Thousands or millions of men individually will see what a sham marriage is and will come to the conclusion even if they were the perfect husband; they could get destroyed in an instant once their future wife got bored of them. Now you got thousands if not millions of men bailing out even without stumbling onto a manosphere website. Is the manasphere really dead? I think not!

Another subject matter would be the theory that 80% of the women in their prime years are having sex with just 20% of the guys. This means 80% of the guys feel neglected and not appreciated for the hard work that they did to try to be a productive member in society. Now that many these guys finally made it into their 30’s. How many of them really want to get in relationships with 30 year old plus women who after being ignored and treated like shit by them when they were younger and hotter. Especially when you got escort and Asian massage parlor sites like myredbook, eroticmp, usasexguide where if they paid $200, these guys can now have the sexual experience with hotter and younger women. Now many would say these guys are losers. The reality is paying and escort or an asian massage parlor babe $200 once a week, every other week, or once a month. Compared to what a marriage or divorce would cost, is a bargain. Now they are getting to enjoy sexual experiences for life with attractive college age ladies at a fraction of the cost a marriage or a divorce would cost. Again many of these men will never read MGTOW or MRA sites but will bail simply based on their life experiences. I forgot to go into the rapid rise of internet porn, development of Virtual Sex Technologies and Overseas sex vacations.

Now how many of these men worked hard and did everything they were suppose do but couldn’t get their career going but continued to get spited on for not having necessary experience or for other bullshit reasons like being discriminated against by feminist human resource departments. Now instead of getting a career going in their mid 20’s their career might not start until their 30’s if even that. This means in their 30’s they may see their first year of entry level pay rather than being on year 6 pay and having 5 years of full salary pay behind them already. Now many of these guys will decide it’s just not worth getting married and having kids simply based on financial costs and worried about their job security after these experiences even without the knowledge of the Family Court system or having any ill will towards women what so ever.

Now how many young men in the following generations will see that going to college and working hard is no guaranteed path to success, therefore will put minimal effort towards working hard and will spend countless hours playing video games or jerking of on internet porn or put all their effort into becoming a Pick Up Artist.

Now instead of carrying the burden of getting married and having kids, those who end making it into their 30’s unscathed may very well decide that if they had a college sweet heart who appreciated him and was loyal to him through thick and thin they most likely would have gotten married and had kids. Now these guys see the freedom of not being tied down to marriage and divorce and will have more financial resources and more free time to themselves. Should they get a uncontrollable sex urge they can get rent a attractive college age college escort babe for an hour or simply bust one out viewing internet porn.

Even though it’s young men who are feeling the brunt of this hostility in their teens and 20’s. When it’s all said done, these misandrist costs will transfer to women after big 30 hits.

Thousands if not millions of young men will bail out simply based on their own life experiences. Contrary to what some bloggers have say, the manosphere is alive and well and is growing by the thousands even if only a miniscule minority bothers reading MGTOW/MRA sites and blogs.